Friday, April 17, 2009

Like an Avalanche - it comes tumbling down!

"You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book."
~Psalm 56:8 (The Message)

“It is amazing how one so powerful can love one so lowly as to know every tear that has fallen." ~Lance Gargus

One of the things that I have learned is that you cannot walk away from cancer you must take a stance. Along with God’s direction, I feel that I am taking a stance that is right for me. I have made the decision not to fight the cancer but to embrace the life that I have left until my day comes to meet God face-to-face.

This past week the reality of cancer came tumbling down on me like an avalanche and became overwhelming. I had to make some very hard decisions about my living arrangements for the duration of my illness. I can honestly say that this is the first time I have really, really cried. There are so many decisions to make; selling my house, where to live, what to take with me, finding a place where I can take my cats, etc. - I just wanted to walk away from it all. I am sure that there are going to be other days in the future when I still have these feelings and I know that my friends will be there to support me.

Sharing my personal feelings is one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Please continue to pray for me through this journey.
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