Monday, August 24, 2009

Every day - something...

Last week I decided to go ahead with the lump removal from my right breast. It was caused by the needle biopsy and is getting larger, and hurting more. I saw the surgeon again and he agreed that it should be removed. Like he said, "cancer itself does not hurt." I went through my pre-op and I am scheduled for out-patient surgery on Friday, August 28th.

After everything was scheduled I started noticing a sore spot on my lip right by my nostril and realized that it was coming from the inside. By Sunday, the 23rd, I had a huge abscess on my gum that was very painful. I left a message at the dentist office and they returned my call first thing Monday morning with an opening at 10 am. She was able to lance the gum, scrape out the bacteria, flush it out, and then insert the antibiotic. She said that it would last about 14 days.

I was pretty nervous thinking that I would have to reschedule the breast surgery. The dentist said that it was so localized that it will be healed by Friday - there would be no need to postpone the surgery.

Well, when the deadening started wearing off, my gum started throbbing. I took a pain pill to lie down for a bit and completely forgot about a meeting that I had at the church at 3:30 pm. All I could do was say that I was sorry but I was in no condition to drive at that point.

"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today." ~ Mark Twain

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Lord, Is This Your Will?

Sometimes I ask the question,
"My Lord, is this your will?"
It's then I hear you answer me,
"My Precious Child... Be still."
Sometimes I feel frustrated,
cause I think I know what's best.
It's then I hear you say to me,
"My Busy Child... Just rest."
Sometimes I feel so lonely,
and I think I'd like a mate.
Your whispering voice gets oh so clear
and says, "My Child...Please wait."
"I know the plans I have for you,
the wondrous things you'll see;
If you can just be patient, Child,
and put your trust in me.
I've plans to draw you closer.
I've plans to help you grow.
There's much I do you cannot see,
and much you do not know.
But know this, child...I LOVE YOU,
You are Precious unto Me.
Before I formed you in the womb,
I planned your destiny.
I've something very special
I hope for you to learn.
The gifts I wish to give to you
are gifts you cannot earn.
They come without a price tag,
but not without a cost;
at Calvary, I gave My Son,
so You would not be lost.
Rest Child, and do not weary
while doing what is good.
I promise I'll come back for you,
just like I said I would.
Your name is written in my palm,
I never could forget;
Therefore, do not be discouraged,
when my answer is... "Not Yet"
~author unknown

Monday, August 10, 2009

PET Scan results

On Thursday, August 6th, I had a PET scan to find out just where the cancer is going or if it is moving at all. The cancer is still progressing and is in two lymph nodes now behind the stomach at the aorta. There is a new spot showing and it is on my liver. It is assumed that it is the endometrial cancer. There is no reason to do a biopsy since I have elected not to do additional chemo, or radiation. I knew that the cancer would be on the move, it was just a matter of where it would go first. Now I know!

The breast cancer is showing more than before so that means it is progressing. It had been pretty stable until I let them do the biopsy. I did not have a lump before the biopsy but I do now. The doctor said that it would go away, however it has not and it does hurt. I will make an appointment with the general surgeon to see what can be done. I see no reason to be visibly uncomfortable just yet.

There are times when our sadness and grief overwhelm us to the point of hopelessness. But even when healing seems out of reach, God is reaching out. scooping us into his arms, speaking through claps of thunder, "I am here." (from "God Things Come in Small Packages")