Saturday, July 17, 2010

No Memory

Last Saturday, a week ago today, I started thinking about my surgery and my short stay in the hospital. I could not remember a thing. I tried all day and nothing was coming back to me. On Sunday morning I told Rebecca that I couldn't remember any of it. She said, "You don't remember the fire." I said, "What fire." There was a huge fire in Denver and I could see it from my window. I do remember that now.

Rebecca and Shirley started telling me different things that happened and I am starting to remember some of it but not all of it. They said that a lady was moved into the room with me and she had both legs amputated. I was very upset and said that she "was so worse of than me." Later in the day lots of people showed up including a baby. I am finally remembering a lady in the room and a baby crying but that is all.

I don't remember nurses coming into the room but they said they were in there all the time and I walked and I sat in the chair and I was constantly going to the bathroom with no results. The only thing I remember about this is that I was so thirsty and I kept drinking lots of water.

Rebecca said that she asked me if my surgeon had come in the night before - and I said yes. The next morning Rebecca asked my surgeon if she was in the night before - and she said no. I don't remember any of this. And, I have no idea what she said to me that morning. The only thing I know for sure is that I was discharged.

It is a really weird feeling not to remember. I do remember pre-op but as soon as I left that room I remember nothing else. I do not remember getting dressed to be discharged. I do remember Rebecca taking me down to get my prescription filled and then picking me up at the emergency entrance.

I think I remember Shirley asking me if I was hungry and said that I needed to eat something. I think she ordered breakfast for me - have no idea what it was or if I even ate it. In St Joseph you have to order your meals or you don't get anything.

Yes, I do remember the fall when I got home. So funny!

The only thing that I can think of is that I was really dreading this surgery and I chose to block it out. There are still so many things I don't remember - maybe with time.

"Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God."
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