It's In The Valley I Grow

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember,
That it's in the valley I grow,

If I always stayed on the mountain top,
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love,
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn,
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valley I grow.

I do not always understand,
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

My little valleys are nothing,
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining,
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder,
That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me,Lord,
And use my life each day
To share your love with others,
And help them find their way.

Thank you for valleys, Lord,
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious,
But it's in the valleys I grow!

~by Jane Eggleston

Trip to the Chiropracter

I have been having problems with my left hip and decided I needed to see a Chiropracter. This is probably another side effect of the chemo treatments because I spent so much time in bed. It seems to be the muscles and they need to be strengthened. He has given me several suggestions of how to handle the pain and eventually delete the pain all together. It only hurts when I am standing for any period of time and the hip compacts.

He gave me quite the compliment. He had read some of my medical history before I arrived and he was expecting to see a sickly old woman because of all that I had been through. He said that I looked really good and not sick at all - and I don't feel sick.

This is only my 3rd week at the Y and already I am feeling much stronger. In fact, I walked a mile, at my favorite lake, twice this week and I did a mile on the exercise bike at the Y. I was not sure that I could do the walking because of the neuropathy in my feet, but I think I am getting used to it now - I knew I would eventually.

For those of you not in CO it has been in the 60's this week - absolutely beautiful for the middle of January.

Appointment with Oncologist

My appointment with the oncologist has been changed to February 24th. It is just a follow-up appointment and since I am feeling pretty good I can wait another month to see him.

My CA125 was 154 after my surgery. The standard range is <=34- u/ml. On November 17th it had gone down to 16 - this was after 5 chemo therapy treatments. On January 8th it is down to 14. This is such exciting news. My oncology nurse was also excited when she called. She said that her calls so often involve bad news that this made her day to be able to deliver good news.

If God willing, it will be even lower the next time I get it tested. I will keep praying for a miracle.

Appointment with Pelvic Surgeon

I met with my surgeon today, January 8th, and he said that I was healing well. He also said that I responded (the cancer) to the chemo better than expected. He mentioned the radiation and that he knew I had turned it down, I agreed and he made no further comments about it.

He wanted to know about my energy level and was pleased to hear how well I am actually feeling and getting back into the swing of things. I told him that since I cannot walk with my feet in this condition I had joined the Y, and that I do aqua-aerobics and silver-sneekers (low impact exercise) at least four times a week. I am sure that this will help with my stamina as well as my balance - which is not great because of neuropathy in my feet.

With a smile on his face he asked if my hair was coming back in yet. Yes it is, but this is going to be a very slow process. They say 1/4 inch per month and that is true so far. I have two wigs and I always wear one of them when going out in public, however at home - I take it off. My eyebrows and eyelashes are coming back also.

He was very pleased that my CA125 had gone from 154 to 16 the last time it was tested in October. He said that it was not a sure-fire test but that it was a good indicator about what was going on. He ordered another one and the results should be back by the time I meet with my oncologist on Monday.

I will be seen by him every three months and have my next appointment in April. He suggested six months for a PET scan.

I may have "gone green" but I'm still thinkin' chocolate!

What Cancer Cannot Do

My good friend t.j. shared these words with me, but I was also given an afghan early on in my journey by another friend - I keep it on my bed - and of course, share it with my cats who have also been on this journey with me. It is a beautiful afghan and I read the words often. Now, I want to share these words with you so that you can pass them on to others you know who have cancer.

WHAT CANCER CANNOT DO
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit
-- author unknown

Thank you t.j. I would not have thought of sharing if you had not sent this to me.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Appointment with Pelvic Surgeon

My follow-up appointment with the surgeon on December 11th was changed to December 10th, however, I still did not see the doctor because he was in surgery and it lasted longer than expected. My appointment is now on January 8th. More later.

Appointment with Oncology Radiologist

As promised, I kept my appointment with the radiologist today, December 9th. He was extremely nice and had studied my case and also had talked with my oncologist and pelvic surgeon. From what he said my case is challenging and they are all interested in the outcome. He was well aware of my feelings about radiation therapy and said that he would respect and support my decisions about treatment. After that being said, he still spent an hour with me explaining, in great detail, what the radiation therapy would entail.

In conclusion he really can't say for sure that radiation would make a difference, if it did make a difference it would be about 20%. Endometrial cancer is common but the type of cancer that I have is not common. He explained there are not a lot of studies on "serous papillary" cancer because there are just not a lot of women with this type. They do know that it is an aggressive cancer, but he said that I did well with the chemo and at the present time no cancer is noted in the lymph nodes. I am going to follow this with PET scans and see what happens.

I am feeling pretty good and my mental outlook is great. I am, of course, still having problems with my feet and find walking difficult when I have to put on a full shoe - sandals are more comfortable. If I stand for long periods then my back hurts, but then I have had back problems for a long time. After the first of the year I intend to join the Y and start water walking and water aerobics to see if I can start getting my strength back.

I have an appointment in 2 days with my pelvic surgeon but it is just for a follow-up. He will be following me for an extended period of time. I also have an appointment with my oncologist in January and will follow with a PET scan.

I probably will not be updating my blog except when I have appointments which should start tapering off now. I really would like to enjoy the Holidays and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Appointment with General Surgeon

More good news – I met with a surgeon today, November 19th, about the breast biopsy. He said that he was very sure that it was not malignant. He did a breast exam and felt nothing – no lumps – no bumps. He drew me a diagram of what a breast malignancy should look like and then he drew a diagram of my three spots and they looked nothing alike. In fact, he advised against doing the needle biopsy, or surgery, for at least 6 months, preferably 9-12 months out. Because of the blood clots I am on blood thinners. He said that they would have to take me off the blood thinners for at least a week – and wouldn’t it be a shame if I died from a blood clot in my lungs and it was not malignant. He also said that if I were his sister he would advise against doing anything at the present time. He said, “You have been through enough the last four months. Take some time off and enjoy Thanksgiving and the Christmas Holidays, and do something fun for awhile.” I am going to take his advice and not worry about it.

God is good – all the time! He answers prayers!

6th & Last Chemo Therapy Treatment

Today, November 18th, I met with my oncologist, however I did not have my chemo treatment. A couple of weeks ago I made a decision, after much prayer, that I was not going to continue treatment. After much discussion about the numbness in my feet and starting in my hands, he was in agreement with me, not to do the last chemo treatment. He does want me to meet with the oncology radiologist and at least hear what he has to say. I agreed that I would keep my appointment on December 9th and I will listen but will make no promises to do radiation – I have always been against radiation.

The good news – the ultrasound on my thyroid showed no nodules and everything looks good.

I have an appointment on Wednesday, November 19th with a surgeon to see what we are going to do about the spots they found on my right breast. I will let him decide if we do the needle biopsies first or go straight for surgery. My choice – surgery. Let’s just get it out. If it is not malignant now it probably will be in the near future. If it is malignant there will be no more chemo so he better get clear margins.

I have heard that cancer cells cannot live in an alkaline body, only in an acid body. I have been reading and researching the diet and it is not going to be easy but I am going to give it a try. It certainly can’t hurt anything.

I am starting to feel really good and I am at peace with the decisions that I have made. I am looking forward to a more normal life for the days that I have left which may be 2 years or 4 years – only God knows. From research most people, with my kind of cancer do not live longer than that (with or without treatment). My surgeon had already told me that my cancer cannot be cured and it will return. My oncologist did not dispute that.

My oncologist will support my decisions and I will meet back with him in January to see how things are going and he will schedule another PET scan at that time.