Call from Radiologist

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

The radiologist (the salesman) called this morning to make plans about how to handle the breast cancer. His main concern was that it might be the same as the endometrial cancer. It is not however so it would be a completely different treatment. He said that the most important treatment would be the radiation for the endometrial cancer for now and the breast cancer could wait until we finished radiation. He wanted to personally cancel my appointments with the surgeon. He said that he would call and explain to him what we were going to do. I told him that I still wanted to meet with the surgeon.

I have felt like none of the doctors are being really honest with me. I am a realist and I need facts. Everyone wants to beat around the bush. Today I really pin-pointed him and he finally admitted that my chances are "not good" but I do have "a chance". He kept saying 20% so I asked if that adds 2-6 months to my life or what. He said that the 20% is based on a 5 years survival rate. Okay, it might give me a year. But that year will be miserable with the side effects from the full pelvic radiation which he admitted was going to be very diffiult. Once again, I have decided to go for quality of life over quantity of life. I will not be doing radiation therapy. The real catch to all of this is that the type of cancer that I have does not have a 5 years survival rate to start with, so what does that make the 20%? My common sense did not go on vacation without me after all.

I have researched my type of cancer, as much as possible, since there are not many studies, and the survival rates for this type of cancer, USPC, is approximately 24 months and that is for Stage I and II. All of the big cancer hospitals say the prognosis is poor - MD Anderson, etc.

Needle biopsies of right breast

"We cannot change the cards we are delt, just how we play the hand."

~ Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture

On Wednesday, April 1st, I had several needle biopsies. The procedure took 4 times as long as it should have because - well, I'm not really sure why. The radiologist stopped the ultra sound tech and said that she wanted more mammograms. So everything stopped and after the mammograms we started all over again. It was a long afternoon.

They said it would be about a week before I received the results and one of the radiologist would call me with the results. Today, April 3rd, just 2 days later, I received that call. The results - "Invasive Ductal Carcinoma".

I just received the results of my CA 125 - it was 14 in January and it has gone back up to 20. However, the CEA was normal.

I have an appointment for an MRI of both breast on Wednesday, the 15th. And, an appointment with the general surgeon on Friday the 17th.

CAT scan and tattoos

I made it through the CAT scan yesterday and I have my tattoos. The radiation does not start for two weeks and they will do a trial run the first day just to make sure everything is lined up. They made a mold of my buttocks that will be used everyday just to make sure I am in the correct position. Fun stuff!

I know that I said I would "never" do radiation therapy. Lesson learned - "never say never" - I knew better but my common sense has gone on vacation. The chemo did not kill off the cancer cells and they are traveling through my lymphatic system. So far they have not entered the vital organs and I pray that by doing the radiation the cancer cells will be stopped. We can only pray and leave it in God's hands.

This afternoon I will have my breast biopsy. (April 1st - Hmm!) More Later

Excerpt from Tony Snow's Testimony

"The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world shorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies."

Tony Snow was President Bush's Press Secretary. His testimony is about his fight with cancer - it is worth reading. http://www.jknirp.com/snow.htm

Happiness is like...

“Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”

~ Thoreau

Cancer is deadly...

We all go around with this attitude that “It can’t happen to me.” Yes it can. Cancer knows no boundaries. No matter the type or the depth of cancer, it is scary and it can happen to you. No one is exempt from this dreaded disease. My heart goes out to all of those people who do not believe in God. How in the world can they go through this journey with no hope of eternal life?

When I was diagnosed with cancer, over time I was told that it was an aggressive cancer and that it could not be cured. The best to expect was remission for an unknown period of time. Because the endometrial cancer that I have is rare, there have not been a lot of studies to go by and the one being used looked like chemo was the best option. After I finished chemo I met with the radiologist and, besides the information above, he said that they just were not sure what, if anything, radiation would do for this type of cancer. I chose to wait and see since I really did not want to do full pelvic radiation because of all the side effects, some of which cannot be reversed.

On Monday, March 23rd, I met with my oncologist to discuss the PET scan that I had on March 9th. The PET showed that there is a malignant lymph node sitting right on the aorta. (The aorta goes down the spine.) It cannot be reached by surgery and he said that cyber knife was out of the question at this location. The longer he talked the more I realized that I was out of options, or not being offered any options except a clinical trial at Colorado University. The only thing, I felt, that he did not tell me was how long I have to live. Needless to say, I was pretty bummed when I left his office and by the time we got to the elevators Rebecca and I were crying – both of us in shock. It all became very real.

My oncologist did say that he would talk with my surgeon and radiologist and get back with me by the end of the week (I have not heard from him) and that he would also check with Colorado University about clinical trials (which he personally would prefer to do). I checked myself and all of the trials they have going, or trials they are starting have to do with ovarian cancer, which I did not have, and of course none of them will be trials with the rare kind of cancer that I have.

On Monday evening my radiologist called and said that he wanted to see me. He had a voice mail from my oncologist but had not talked to him yet. He wanted to talk with me directly. I met with him today, Friday, March 27th. The discussion was much the same as the last time that I met with him. I asked lots of questions and he answered them all. I even took my anatomy book with me and asked him to please show me the boundaries of the radiation being planned. After a week of prayer I have decided to proceed with radiation. What have I really got to lose? He said that it is not going to be easy and will get worse as each week passes. It will be everyday for 6 l/2 weeks – 33 treatments. I should be finished about the first week of June. I will go on Tuesday to get my CT scan and tattoos. Yes, Katherine will be tattooed with little dots – can you imagine that. Maybe I can have them do a little flower around each one – ha! I think he really wants to go ahead with the radiation now while I am so healthy (Hmm! Do you see that as an oxymoron?) and before the cancer goes into a vital organ. He was quite clear that if that happens there would be nothing else they could do with this type of cancer. So far the cancer is in the lymphatic system and no vital organs. Both doctors are sure there is more cancer in the lymph system but it is just not strong enough to show up on the PET scan yet.

The actual radiation will not start for a couple of weeks. He wants the needle biopsies done on the breast before he starts. He said that if they were malignant it would mean a mastectomy. I said, “no” a lumpectomy even though there is no lump there. He said that would mean radiation. So, that is what we are doing so one more spot of radiation doesn’t matter.

Does this mean that another trip to Hawaii is out of the question? I sure hope not!

My journey is far from being over so please continue to keep me in your prayers.

Spring in Colorado

Spring started with beautiful weather in Colorado but also with much needed moisture since we were at only 14% of our annual snowfall this winter. Things changed this morning - you guessed it - we are in a blizzard. A rainfall would have been nice - but we really need the moisture so snow it will be.

PET Scan

I had my PET scan on Monday, March 9th. I just received a call from my oncologist and the news was not the best. It seems that the cancer is still active in one of my lymph nodes. He said there was no change to my lungs and a slight change to my breast. I will be meeting with him on the 23rd. More later.

Appointment with Oncologist

I saw my oncologist on the 24th and he was very pleased that I was doing so well. He has ordered another PET scan. Since he knows my wishes about future treatment he wanted to know if I wanted to know the results or just wait it out to see what happens - if the cancer is growing - if it has localized to one area, etc. He is a little concerned about my lungs since I have an unexplained cough, but he said they sound okay. I told him that I want to know what is going on each step of the way. He said that if I changed my mind about chemo or radiation - or not - he would support my decision.

He was very pleased that I am losing weight and that I go to the Y four times a week. My blood pressure was really low and I asked him about it. He wanted to know if I was light-headed or tired - yes to both! He said that it looked like my new program was working (the Y and WW) and that I may need to alter my BP medication. He wanted to do 1/2 a pill/day and then said not to take them at all. Each day that I did not take my BP pill my blood pressure went up a little. On the third day it was obvious that I cannot go off my medication. I don't think I need the full strength but I do need something. I just have to get it figured out. It is a good thing that I told him that I would monitor it at home - I have a BP kit. So far it is all over the place.

The next step will be the PET scan. I am feeling very positive about it and a little nervous at the same time. I still need lots of prayer.