Mario is no longer mine!

The last two times that I saw Mario, he would have nothing to do with me. Oh yes, he would rub on my legs but he does that to everyone. Other than that all he would do is hiss and growl at me if I tried to pick him up. Laurie's other two cats, Mo and Noir, were happy to get my attention.

Ember stayed with Laurie while I was in Omaha - Mario and Ember did not get along. It has only been six months, but what a difference it has made. I guess Mario thought that Ember was invading his new territory. Maybe he thinks I have come to take him back to the small apartment where there is no room to play and only windows to look out.

Mario gets to go out in the back yard everyday to play and if Craig is out there working Mario sits and watches him - stays right with Craig like a little puppy dog. Amazing!! He has a great time out there as long as it is not wet. You know he cannot get his little feet wet. He is funny about that. He has finally learned to eat wet cat food but only the expensive kind. What do you expect - he once was mine.

Ember was glad to get back home where she felt safe. After all she was up against three large male cats. That would be scarry for any little girl. I have decided to keep her at home when I have my surgery. I will miss her too much if I am here and she is not. She sticks pretty close to me at all times. I think she loves me - a lot! Or, is it because we are in close quarters - hmmmm!

Omaha Trip - May 17-27 2010

Two years of planning my trip to Omaha to check out graves on my dad's side of the family in Falls City Nebraska finally happened after much delay. The original trip was planned for October of 2008 - it did not happen. That is the year I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Now over a year and a half later it finally happened.

The day that I arrived in Omaha, Johanna (my aunt) and I checked out two cemeteries in the area and I did find a couple of grave sites. On Wednesday we headed for Nebraska City for a two night stay at the beautiful Lied Lodge. Well, as luck would have it it started raining and did not stop - no chance of going to the cemeteries in Falls City which was about an hour away. Because of the rain we tried to do things in Nebraska City. We went to the Arbor Day Farm but did not get to tour the grounds, but we did get our trees. That was on Thursday. On Friday we checked out, had lunch and then toured the J Sterling Morton Mansion. It was absolutely beautiful inside and out. Then we headed back to Omaha and Jo and Betty headed back to KS and MO.                                  

As wonderful as it was the most excitement we had was when Jo found some "joints" behind the dresser. She was on the floor, on her knees, trying to plug in a computer when she found them. I must say that I have never seen Jo so upset. She called for a manager to come to their room immediately. The manager was appalled and she came back up with free drink tickets, desert tickets, and free cables if we needed them for our computers. We did have a good laugh over it.

When Johanna and I arrived back in Omaha it was not long and I realized that I did not have my wallet and figured it must be in Jo's car. It was. Uncle Larry said that I did that on purpose just so that I could see him. Jo and uncle Larry drove back on Saturday and met us in Squaw Valley (half way point for all of us) and we had lunch. And, most importantly I did get to see uncle Larry.

It turned out that once we were at Squaw Valley we were not far from Falls City and it was not raining so I did get to go to Steele Cemetery after all. It was a beautiful cemetery but it was so windy that we could hardly walk through it. The headstone that I wanted to find was Katherine Crofford, my dad's mother who died in 1921. I am also named after her. We found the spot but there were no headstones for her or her 4 month old son, Melvin. However, there was a beautiful large headstone with only "CROFFORD" on it right where Katherine and Melvin were buried. My mission was accomplished. We did look around and found a few other Croffords that I am sure I am related to but am not familiar with their names.

On Sunday we went to mass at St John's Church on the campus of Creighton University. What a magnificent church. I took lots of pictures. I am not sure why it is not called a cathedral. It is so beautiful on the inside. Absolutely breathtaking.

I was so disappointed when it started raining but it turned out to be a wonderful trip and I had such a great time with my cousins Betty and Jo, and my aunt Johanna.

Prayer needs

Last August (2009) when I had my PET scan is showed that the endometrial cancer had metastasized and had gone to another lymph node and to the liver. And, my CA125 had gone up to 53 – outside of normal limits. In less than a month after that, September, I had a lumpectomy – right breast – caused by the needle biopsy. It was malignant but a different cancer than the endometrial cancer. Going on what I knew at that time I made the decision not to treat it since the endometrial cancer was spreading at a rapid rate as expected.

Six months later, (February 2010) my CA125 was back down to 15 and well within normal limits. The PET scan showed that the endometrial cancer was not active in the lymph nodes or the liver. There was a spot on my right breast that was undetermined. I guess in my mind I felt that it was not active either so I put off getting another mammogram.

When I had the x-rays on my back I decided to do the mammogram at the same time. After more mammograms, an ultra sound, a meeting with the radiologist, four needle biopsies, and a consultation with the breast surgeon, it has been decided that I do indeed need a mastectomy. I am already scheduled for June 7th.

As I talked with the surgeon I realized that now I have to make decisions based on the unknown. Will the endometrial cancer rear its ugly little head again soon, or will it be a year or two? Meanwhile do I want to die from breast cancer if there is a chance we can control it?

The diagnosis: Infiltrating ductal carcinoma. Grade III. (Lymphatic/vascular invasion.) If this has gone into the lymphatic system then there is a possibility that more chemo and/or radiation might be needed. I will make decisions as necessary.

The prayer needs come in to play because I am having a really tough time wrapping my mind around having a mastectomy. Right out of high school I worked in a private Pathology Laboratory for 16 years. I saw a lot and I learned a lot, and one of things that I conditioned myself to, was that “I never ever would have a mastectomy”. Now I find myself in that position and it is very difficult for me. Funny thing is – there is a lot of cancer on my mother’s side of the family, as you probably have read about – "but no breast cancer".

With your continued prayers and support I know that I can make it through this next round of cancer.

News update…

The answer on the Coumadin – yes, I will be on it for the rest of my life. People with Cancer have an increased risk of getting blood clots. I have verified this on the web. My goodness what did we do without it years ago? I look everything up and I do go to reputable sites.

I had four breast biopsies on Wednesday, May 5th, under Ultrasound. I received the call today, Friday. Cancer cells were noted. I have an appointment – consultation only – with a breast surgeon on Wednesday, the 12th. I am so very excited because Kaiser is finally starting a department with physicians and surgeons who deal directly with breast cancer.

I continue to ask for your prayers. They have worked so far and I do not want you to give up on me just yet. God Bless all of you and your families.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” ~Jeremiah 29:11-13

New PCP and PA

I had an appointment with my new PCP on Friday. My other PCP was Family Practice and my new one is Internal Medicine. What a difference a title makes. My new PCP was asking questions, has already talked with my oncologist and sent me an email. How fast is that – it is only Monday! I do believe that he is really interested in his patients.

In KC my doctor was Internal Medicine but when I joined Kaiser in July 2008, it was because I needed medical attention, fast, and could not be choosey about my PCP. I took the one that was available at the SW clinic.

Today, Monday, May 03, 2010, I had an appointment with the Neurosurgery Department about my back. My appointment was with a PA and I really liked her. She showed me the pictures of the MRI, which Imaging had put on a DVD for me. And, she showed me the x-rays and explained every detail. I went to an outside facility so I could get an open-sided MRI.

The fourth lumbar vertebra is out of line. They took x-rays with me leaning forward and backwards to see if the vertebra would line itself – it did not so it most likely will remain out of line. Osteoarthritis is very evident in the facet joints.

I told her that I was not interested in surgery but I would like for the pain to be reduced so that I don’t have to be on pain pills all of the time. Her suggestion was cortisone shots in both sides of the vertebra. I can have four a year and she said that they are very effective.

She will contact my new PCP and my oncologist to see how they feel about the Coumadin. If I have to be off of it for five days then it will interfere with my trip to Omaha because I will not be able to fly for five days after the injection. I may have to wait until I get back because I am not going to postpone my trip.

Isn’t our God wonderful that he has put people in our lives that can explain all of this to us? I praise Him everyday for my life. No one can take care of me like my God!

Sorry this is so long. I am sure there is more information here that you care about. But then again this is my journal so that I remember things.

One year ago on May 1, 2009...

I cannot believe that it was one year, on May 1st, that I moved into my apartment. I can honestly say that I have no regrets. It has been a totally different life than what I was used to living, but it has been so good. I have let go of material things that were just that, material things. I have let go of most all of the stress in my life. I have learned and am still learning how to eat differently. I must admit that I do struggle with this one. It is hard to break many years of bad eating habits. I also admit that I really like food, junk food and fast foods are among the foods I like best. Do I like food more than life? I don’t think so – in fact I know so. That is not to say that I don’t have my weak moments or special occasions, but I can say that the bad times are no longer the norm.

Back to the original subject - I know that my saving grace, besides my Lord, has been this magnificent view. I have moved my desk and computer over by the window so that I can see the view while I am doing my very serious business. (Ha! Ha!)

“In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.” ~Psalm 33:21

The saga continues…

In February when I had my PET scan it showed that there was a spot on my right breast, diagnosis undetermined. The surgeon’s office called me numerous times to get another mammogram, which I put off and put off. Finally when I went for my back x-rays on April 19th, I decided to have my mammogram on my right breast. They did both breast because it had been over a year. A couple of days later I received a call that they need to do more mammograms and an ultrasound.

I made another appointment for April 27th and when I got there they said they needed more films on both breast. Yes, I did manage to stay calm. They did the films and the radiologist looked at them and said he did want an ultrasound, both breast. After the ultrasound I met with the radiologist and he showed me the films. The left breast has two spots, which they determined to be fluid cyst – no problem. The right breast does have a spot that he wants a needle biopsy on. When they call to make the appointment I will be sure that I do not have the same person that did my last needle biopsies.

On Friday I have an appointment with my new PCP – just a consultation. If I like him I will continue with him. My main focus right now is to get off of the Coumadin. I am not sure which doctor really put me on it but it was supposed to be for one year and it is well over a year now.

I am so blessed to have all of you praying for me and I ask that you continue to pray that there is no cancer. "God sends us friends to love and lift our spirits high."

Hawaiian Volunteer Dinner 2010

The last two weeks have been the most exhausting and yet the most enjoyable weeks that I have had in over a year and a half. It was exhilarating to feel well enough to take a part in planning and implementing the volunteer appreciation dinner at the church that took place right after 2nd service on April 25th.

I made fabric squares to go under the candles. I fringed the edges and then stitched them all so they would not continue raveling. I only made one trip to the store with Rebecca to pick up supplies for the dinner. She went many, many times by herself and then carried it all to the kitchen. We rolled 170 sets of silverware and then glued a Hibiscus on each one. We worked together on the centerpieces, which were glass bowls with a candle, sand, and seashells in each one. I always do a booklet with all of the volunteers listed under the ministry they work in – many are in more than one ministry. I was able to work on that at home and have the staff go over the rough drafts in staff meeting. I talked Rebecca in to doing the cover for me. She is so good at design and I am very mediocre when it comes to design. We did so much more stuff behind the scenes. We worked hard.

Rebecca planned the menu and set the most magnificent table. I will add a picture as soon as I get one.The Hawaiian dinner consisted of pulled pork with buns, teriyaki chicken wings, frog eye salad, potato salad, green beans, sweet potatoes with pineapple, fresh fruit baskets made from watermelon, pina colada punch, and for desert – Banana split cake. (It was so good.) Everyone ate and ate. It was a really fun time.

Rebecca had to be totally exhausted because she is in the process of remodeling her kitchen and dining room and she was doing all the painting herself while planning this whole dinner. Yep, she was working day and night and was worrying about me overdoing it. I will be the first to admit that I was worn out – but I made it. I know that God was watching over me and I am so thankful to Him. I must admit that I did have to give up when the cleanup started - I did help a little.

"When you work with all your heart, motivated by the love of Christ, your work will be transformed into an act of worship for God." ~Rick Warren

Doctor problems for the first time

Am I the only who thinks the year is speeding by? I cannot believe how fast it is going. A friend has reminded me that I have not updated my blog since Easter and is wondering if I am okay. Yes, I am okay and feeling rather fine right now (except for the back). I am getting some energy back and currently working on a couple of hour consuming projects at the church. It is so nice to feel good so that I can help out again. I have missed it so much over the last year and a half.

On March 26th I had an MRI on my lower back. And now, I do not have another appointment until May 3rd. I guess it is safe to say that I am now changing my PCP for lack of interest and communication on her part. This is the first time that I have had a problem with Kaiser. I have been treated extremely well by all of the doctors that I have seen except for my PCP. I have not seen her since July 2008 because I have been seeing only specialist. It was obvious that she had not read my record before my appointment and was not interested in anything that has happened over the past year.

I did ask her to refer me to a specialist. She did, but I am not sure what she put in the record because my appointment on the 3rd is with a PA and not a doctor. They were surprised that I had not had an x-ray on my back yet. So I need to do that before I see the PA. I am in hopes that I can see the PCP that I have picked before my appointment with the neurosurgery department. The only thing that I know at this time is that the diagnosis in the PET scan was; “Osteoarthritic changes are identified in the facet joint of the lumbar spine.” Let it be known that I am not interested in surgery, but I am interested in injections if it will help the pain and get me off pain pills.

I still like my little apartment and the view is marvelous. On May 1st I will have been here a year already. Just doesn’t seem possible. As much as I miss Mario I know that he is better off where he is and he has a really good life and family. Ember and I do fine but I do have to remember to spend some time each day just entertaining her.

Life is good and I praise God each and every day for the extra time he has given me. I have decided that as much as I would like to go back to Hawaii – I had my time there. So I am trying to plan some trips this year to see family. Trips that I have put off for too long.

I will be sure to update my blog again after I have my appointments. Sorry, I won’t let it go so long next time.

He has Risen Indeed!

Happy Easter
to all of you as you celebrate the

Resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Alleluia! He is Risen!