The saga continues…

In February when I had my PET scan it showed that there was a spot on my right breast, diagnosis undetermined. The surgeon’s office called me numerous times to get another mammogram, which I put off and put off. Finally when I went for my back x-rays on April 19th, I decided to have my mammogram on my right breast. They did both breast because it had been over a year. A couple of days later I received a call that they need to do more mammograms and an ultrasound.

I made another appointment for April 27th and when I got there they said they needed more films on both breast. Yes, I did manage to stay calm. They did the films and the radiologist looked at them and said he did want an ultrasound, both breast. After the ultrasound I met with the radiologist and he showed me the films. The left breast has two spots, which they determined to be fluid cyst – no problem. The right breast does have a spot that he wants a needle biopsy on. When they call to make the appointment I will be sure that I do not have the same person that did my last needle biopsies.

On Friday I have an appointment with my new PCP – just a consultation. If I like him I will continue with him. My main focus right now is to get off of the Coumadin. I am not sure which doctor really put me on it but it was supposed to be for one year and it is well over a year now.

I am so blessed to have all of you praying for me and I ask that you continue to pray that there is no cancer. "God sends us friends to love and lift our spirits high."

Hawaiian Volunteer Dinner 2010

The last two weeks have been the most exhausting and yet the most enjoyable weeks that I have had in over a year and a half. It was exhilarating to feel well enough to take a part in planning and implementing the volunteer appreciation dinner at the church that took place right after 2nd service on April 25th.

I made fabric squares to go under the candles. I fringed the edges and then stitched them all so they would not continue raveling. I only made one trip to the store with Rebecca to pick up supplies for the dinner. She went many, many times by herself and then carried it all to the kitchen. We rolled 170 sets of silverware and then glued a Hibiscus on each one. We worked together on the centerpieces, which were glass bowls with a candle, sand, and seashells in each one. I always do a booklet with all of the volunteers listed under the ministry they work in – many are in more than one ministry. I was able to work on that at home and have the staff go over the rough drafts in staff meeting. I talked Rebecca in to doing the cover for me. She is so good at design and I am very mediocre when it comes to design. We did so much more stuff behind the scenes. We worked hard.

Rebecca planned the menu and set the most magnificent table. I will add a picture as soon as I get one.The Hawaiian dinner consisted of pulled pork with buns, teriyaki chicken wings, frog eye salad, potato salad, green beans, sweet potatoes with pineapple, fresh fruit baskets made from watermelon, pina colada punch, and for desert – Banana split cake. (It was so good.) Everyone ate and ate. It was a really fun time.

Rebecca had to be totally exhausted because she is in the process of remodeling her kitchen and dining room and she was doing all the painting herself while planning this whole dinner. Yep, she was working day and night and was worrying about me overdoing it. I will be the first to admit that I was worn out – but I made it. I know that God was watching over me and I am so thankful to Him. I must admit that I did have to give up when the cleanup started - I did help a little.

"When you work with all your heart, motivated by the love of Christ, your work will be transformed into an act of worship for God." ~Rick Warren

Doctor problems for the first time

Am I the only who thinks the year is speeding by? I cannot believe how fast it is going. A friend has reminded me that I have not updated my blog since Easter and is wondering if I am okay. Yes, I am okay and feeling rather fine right now (except for the back). I am getting some energy back and currently working on a couple of hour consuming projects at the church. It is so nice to feel good so that I can help out again. I have missed it so much over the last year and a half.

On March 26th I had an MRI on my lower back. And now, I do not have another appointment until May 3rd. I guess it is safe to say that I am now changing my PCP for lack of interest and communication on her part. This is the first time that I have had a problem with Kaiser. I have been treated extremely well by all of the doctors that I have seen except for my PCP. I have not seen her since July 2008 because I have been seeing only specialist. It was obvious that she had not read my record before my appointment and was not interested in anything that has happened over the past year.

I did ask her to refer me to a specialist. She did, but I am not sure what she put in the record because my appointment on the 3rd is with a PA and not a doctor. They were surprised that I had not had an x-ray on my back yet. So I need to do that before I see the PA. I am in hopes that I can see the PCP that I have picked before my appointment with the neurosurgery department. The only thing that I know at this time is that the diagnosis in the PET scan was; “Osteoarthritic changes are identified in the facet joint of the lumbar spine.” Let it be known that I am not interested in surgery, but I am interested in injections if it will help the pain and get me off pain pills.

I still like my little apartment and the view is marvelous. On May 1st I will have been here a year already. Just doesn’t seem possible. As much as I miss Mario I know that he is better off where he is and he has a really good life and family. Ember and I do fine but I do have to remember to spend some time each day just entertaining her.

Life is good and I praise God each and every day for the extra time he has given me. I have decided that as much as I would like to go back to Hawaii – I had my time there. So I am trying to plan some trips this year to see family. Trips that I have put off for too long.

I will be sure to update my blog again after I have my appointments. Sorry, I won’t let it go so long next time.

He has Risen Indeed!

Happy Easter
to all of you as you celebrate the

Resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Alleluia! He is Risen!

"When God and Cancer Meet" ~by Lynn Eib

I have reprinted this article with permission from Heather from her site. I personally have not read the book yet but it is now on my list after reading Heather's site. Thank you Heather for allowing me to print this on my blog. ~Katherine

~From Heather's site ~
I’m telling you guys, I cant put this book down. Every page draws me in deeper, and reminds me of things I already know to be true, but have forgotten:

Think about it.
If God knows everything, the cancer diagnosis did not surprise Him.
If God sees everything, He saw the bad news coming.
If God has power over everything, He could have stopped it.

But He didn’t

There are so many hidden meanings in those words. He could have, but He didn’t. What that says to me is that He is in control, in every aspect of the universe, He is in control.

He is in control.
Errant cancer cells are not.
Toxic medicine is not.
White- Coated doctors are not.
Herbs and vitamins are not.
You are not.
I am not.

Wow. One of the toughest things that I have had to come to terms with is my lack of control through this cancer battle. I have had to put my life in my surgeons hands, my radiation oncologist hands and now my chemotherapy oncologist hands. I literally have no control, although I still fight valiantly to take it back because I think I can do it “better”, more “efficiently”.

But more importantly (and less easily) I have had to turn over all control to the person that never lost control, He never left His throne. My cancer didn’t take Him by surprise and He didn’t make a mistake. It is the sin of man that caused bad things to happen in this world. Not God. We (all of us, starting with adam and Eve) make the choice to trust Him completely or turn from Him completely.

There is no middle ground, no gray area.

We often act shocked when bad things happen to those we love. We picture God acting as surprised as we are by our current situation. But He is not.

My circumstances do not take God by surprise. Your circumstances do not take God by surprise. He is right where he has always been, on His throne.

All He requires of us is for us to depend on him, completely… without fear or trepidation. To rest in the palms of His hand, and to depend on him in our deepest darkest times, just like we praise Him in our glorious times.

God is Sovereign. His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts.

People often say that God doesn’t change, that He is the same “Yesterday, Today and Forever” (Hebrews 13:8). I wholeheartedly agree- His character doesn’t change. But His ways sometimes do.

Just flip through the bible and you’ll see that sometimes He intervenes with a miracle; sometimes He doesn’t.

God is the same.
The same God of love.
The same God of mercy.
The same God of justice.
The same God of holiness.
The same God who can do things as differently in our lives as He wants.

This next quote took the breath right out of my chest. I had to sit and think about a few minutes before it really sank in:

He cannot act contrary to His character, but He doesn’t have to act in accordance with our plans or in the same way in each of our lives.

Wow. He cannot act contrary to His character. He does not have to act in accordance with our plans.

So many times we demand things from God. We only need Him when something serious comes up, but during the good times we are content, putting Him up on the shelf, but keeping sight of Him “just in case”…

I don’t want to be one of those “Just in casers”. I want to trust Him in the good times and in the bad. I want to praise Him for my blessings along with my hurts and fears.

I owe Him that much. I love Him that much.

I trust Him that much.

I’ve told you all this so that trusting me,
you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace.
In this godless world you will
continue to experience difficulties.
But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.
John 16:33 (The Message)

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;

Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

On Tuesday, the 23rd, I had to get a blood draw and pick up a prescription so I decided to get a copy of my PET scan report while I was there. Well, I started looking at the report and forgot to get my prescription. One of those senior moments I guess – they seem to come more often these days.

I have had back problems for many years, caused by craziness on my part, but you just learn to live with it and go on. When I moved to Denver I was in pretty bad shape and decided to try a chiropractor. He was very thorough. He showed me the x-rays of my spine so I have known for some time now that I have degenerating disc. However, he did help me at that time – 13 years ago.

While I was going through the cancer my backaches became more intense and as you know I have recently decided to go on pain pills to help with the pain. I was not sure if the back pain was because of the cancer or because of the degenerating discs. When I picked up the report and started reading, I knew the answer. There was one sentence that really caught my eye, becaue we had not talked about it - “Osteoarthritic changes are identified in the facet joint of the lumbar spine.” This has not been in any other report. My oncologist, of course, knows about the back pain but we have never discussed it in detail. I am sure he thought I knew that my pain was because of osteoarthritis.

I am okay with this news because now I know that the backaches are from another source and not connected to the cancer. I will continue Praising God. He has given me more than I deserve.

Unconditional love

Today I received an email, from a very good friend, about a dog named Lucky and his master who had breast cancer. As I read the story I started crying. Oh, it was a very happy ending but it brought back memories of not so long ago.

We hear stories everyday about our closest companions and how they know when something is not right. I believe that this unconditional love goes deeper than we can ever imagine. There are people who prefer not to have animals, or they have allergic reactions to animals and cannot have pets.

A long while before I was diagnosed with cancer, Ember, my little black cat got in the habit of crawling up on my shoulder and snuggling with her face in my neck – she would burrow in. Ember started doing this every time I sat down and especially when I was at the computer. I have to admit that it did become very irritating and if I put her down she would come right back. I decided that this was a habit that I was just going to have to live with and that she would eventually quit.

Yes, Ember finally quit after I came home from the hospital. She still gets on my neck, but nothing like it was before I had the surgery. It took me awhile to put two and two together. But, I know in my heart that she knew I was very sick and she had no way of telling me. (If only they could talk.)

There have been other incidences at other times in my life, with the different animals that I have had over the years, but nothing quite like this time. Our pets are a gift from God.

God instructed Noah to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, along with every kind of food to be stored as food for the animals and his family while on the ark.

CA 125 results

When I was talking with my oncologist on Tuesday evening I was so in shock that I forgot to ask him the actual results of my CA 125. He just said it had gone down and was within normal range. (The high end of the normal range is 34.) The lowest it has ever been was 14 and that was in January '09, after Chemotherapy. After that it started gradually going up again and in July of ’09 (six months ago) it was at 53.

I received the results yesterday via computer and was shocked to see how low it had actually gone. My CA 125 is now at 15.

I am still and will continue to Praise God.

PET Scan results from 2-5-10

As you all know from reading my blog that I made a decision, well over a year ago, to do no further treatment for my cancer. Since that time I have been watching the cancer on six-month intervals by repeating the PET scan and the CA 125 (blood test). During surgery they could not get to the aortic lymph node and decided to close me up. The Chemotherapy did not kill the cancer in the lymph node and there were no other options. I did ask about Cyber knife and that was not an alternative. Even radiation to that lymph node would not have reached it. I made my decision for no more treatment through prayer (and all of your prayers), much studying and reading and through common sense of knowing what I could tolerate.

My last PET scan, the first week of August 2009, showed that the cancer had moved to another lymph node (now there are two involved) and there was a spot on my liver. When cancer is in the lymphatic system it is hard to kill and it will continue to spread to other vital organs. We also know that cancer grows rapidly once it moves to the liver. I was waiting on the test results to see how far it had spread.

On Tuesday evening, the 9th, I received a call from my oncologist. I took a deep breath to listen to what he had to say. He started off telling me about the CA125 and that it had gone down and was within normal limits. Then he proceeded to tell me that the cancer was no longer active in the lymph nodes or the liver. I kept saying, “Are you sure”? That is when he just started reading me the report. There is a calcified spot on my lung that has been there since day one and they are not worried about that. And there is still a spot on my breast that is “undetermined” at this time. I am in total shock while talking to him and still am.

The oncologist is obviously very confused by these results also, and wanted to know what I was doing differently. “Was I doing alternative methods?” I told him that I had changed my diet somewhat and that I had lots, and lots of people praying for me. And, that I have taken all the stress out of my life. He finally said, “What ever you are doing, keep doing it!”

He does want me to follow-up on the spot on the breast. He mentioned an MRI and I said that would not happen unless they can put me to sleep to do it. Then he suggested following up with another mammogram. I also will follow with another PET scan in six months.

He did tell me that I am not in remission that this can go either way. I forgot to ask about the severe backaches but I can learn to live with them and I will catch him later on this issue.


There is no way to thank all of you for your prayers - and your friends that have been praying for me. Just know that God is in charge and he loves each and every one of us as if we were the only person on earth. My heart is about to burst out of my chest right now. I love you

Excitement all the time

Last night, Saturday, the 6th, the sirens just kept coming. I looked out my bedroom window, which is on the front side of building (West), and there were three fire trucks (2 of them ladder trucks) and at the corner there were two more trucks. All were pulling out there hoses. I walked to the living room and there were two more fire trucks on 26th street. Now there are seven fire trucks, two fire marshals and one paramedic’s truck.

No fire alarm has gone off in the building and I keep waiting for some kind of announcement. I look out my bedroom window again and all the firemen are standing in front of the building just looking at it. I opened the windows and I did not smell any smoke. I still have no idea what is going on.

Now, I am fortunate that I have a corner apartment and can see out on 26th street and on Osceola street. The people that live across the hall, from me, probably had no idea anything was going on because they over look the parking lots on their side of the building. I decided that I needed to make a phone call (to Rebecca) to let her know that something was going on but I did not know what. She laughed and said, “Just in case you don’t show up in the morning.” That is exactly what I had in mind. I just wanted someone to know – just in case.

After about an hour all of the firemen started folding up the hoses and putting them back on the trucks. None of the trucks left until everyone was ready to leave. I thought that was pretty neat. At this point I still don’t know what is going on and probably would not find out until Sunday.

On Sunday I leave at 7:30 am to go to church and I never see anyone on the elevators or in the lobby when I leave. This morning one of the gentlemen got on the elevator with me and I asked him what was going on last night. He said that there were some little kids in one of the apartments playing with a little rubber football and they lost it. Apparently it was in a lamp and I think you can figure out what happened. They must have called 911 directly and thus all the fire trucks.(Children do not live in this building so they must have been visiting.)

There are some positives from this experience. I know that the fire department takes these calls seriously and were very well prepared. That alone put my mind at ease about living in this building on the 15th floor. The other positive is that I am in an end unit and I would walk out my door and right on to the fire escape. My friend, Laurie, gave me a carrier bag for Ember, my cat, and it will slip right over my shoulder. It will be much easier to carry her down than a regular carrier, if the need ever arises. The fire escape is all cement steps with handrails.

Thank you Father God that all turned out well. I did sleep peacefully after all the commotion.