Mario

Mario is getting bigger and more beautiful as time goes on. He is a strange little cat but that is what makes cats interesting. They each have their own personality just like people. This picture was taken in his backyard. Notice I said "his" backyard. He never went outside until he moved in with Laurie. It is fenced in and the cats get to go out everyday, several times a day. They love the backyard. Laurie and/or Craig watch all three cats while they are out there.

I sure do miss him but he pays little attention to me when I am there. He has a new home and he is very happy there.

Last Saturday I went to Laurie's (they were out of town) to give Mo his pills (he has cancer). There are only about three of us that feel comfortable giving Mo his medications. Jan was there to feed the cats and she was still there and had the three cats out in the backyard (Mo, Noir, Mario). I saw Mario stalking something and then he finally pounced. It looked like a snake but it was weird looking and it kept curling around. It was only about 3-4 inches long, had little tiny black beady eyes, and it looked like it had been chopped off. It was about the size of a nickel in diameter. Mario kept putting his paw on it but I was afraid that he would try to pick it up in his mouth. I finally got a pine cone and pushed it under the fence. When I got home I looked it up on the Internet and yes, there is such a snake that is known as a blind snake. It has no teeth so it can't hurt the cats. Laurie and Craig have found their den but no one knows how many there are - just where there is one, there are more.

"How many are your works, O Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures." Psalm 104:24

Do you need washing?

(I have a friend whose sister has terminal breast cancer. She has been on chemo or radiation for over two years now. She has two teenage sons. I saw this story on her blog and borrowed it for my blog. I know that she would not mind if I share such a touching story.)

A little girl had been shopping with her mom in WalMart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence.

It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there, under the awning, just inside the door of the WalMart. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.

I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, “Mom let’s run through the rain”, she said.

“What”, mom asked. “Let’s run through the rain”, she repeated. No honey, we’ll wait until it slows down a bit”, mom replied. This young child waited a minute and repeated, “Mom, let’s run through the rain!” “We’ll get soaked if we do”, mom said. “No we won’t mom. That’s not what you said this morning”, the young girl said as she tugged on her mom’s arm. “This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet”, the mother asked? “Don’t you remember”, said the little girl? “When you were talking to daddy about his cancer, you said, if God can get us through this, He can get us through anything!” The entire crowd stopped dead silent…I swear you couldn’t hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one left. The mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child’s life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

‘Honey, you are absolutely right. Let’s run through the rain. If GOD let’s us get wet, well maybe we just need washing’, mom said. Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They got soaked.

They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories. So, don’t forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and time to every purpose under heaven.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

"I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN!"


Speak of God, for God, with God. 
~C. McAuley

I am a 10 on the scale 1-10

Today I had my last appointment with my surgeon. The very day I have been waiting for - it has been over two years since I have not had a doctor's appointment and this is going to be a much needed reprieve. Only God knows if/when this will all start up again so I will continue to take it one day at a time. I also will continue to get my blood markers done, and PET scans only if my oncologist feels it is necessary.

When I went to her office I knew that the seroma was gone and there was no more accumulation of fluid. She said she wanted to see for herself and after careful examination she admitted I was right. She once again gave me the "pep" talk about chemo and radiation therapy and requested that I go talk with the radiologist. My answer was - "no"!

I have full range of motion with my arm so she put "excellent" in my chart with lots of exclamation points. She then asked if I wanted to continue visits or did I want to call her if I needed something. I bet you can guess which option I chose. She gave me a hug and said that she hoped not to see me again under these circumstances.

I give all the glory to my God. Praising God will renew and rejuvenate you. Psalms 59 "I will sing of your strength in the morning and I will sing of your love for you are my refuge in times of trouble."

Seroma

"There are extraordinary moments in our lives when we are certain a Divine Hand has brushed our cheek, wiped our tears, and graced our hearts with a glimpse of eternity." ~Susan Duke


When I returned from Omaha I had an appointment with my surgeon. The seroma, this time, was only a third of what it has been so I feel that it is starting to slow down. I choose not to do another procedure with Interventional Radiology. My surgeon confirmed that I know my body better than she does and will respect my decisions. Although, she does get her little dig in each time about doing chemotherapy and radiation therapy. I told her that "if" the cancer comes back I will deal with it. I just want to live as pain free and productive life as possible. When God is ready to take me home - He will!

Since there will not be a lot to report on my health at this time. I think I am going to write about my many blessings starting with my move to Denver in 1996 and the reason I moved. It will be in segments and one at a time because it probably will turn into a book. But this is my journal of my journey and it is the only one I have, so I will keep writing.

A friend who cares

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.  The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. 

                                                                        ~Henri Nouwen

Johanna's Jubilee

The week of August 21st until the 28th I was in Omaha for my aunts Jubilee. Sister Johanna Burnell, RSM has been a nun for 50 years. What an exciting day starting with Mass on Sunday, the 22nd, said by Father Charlie O'Rourke, Sister Jeanne's brother. After Mass dinner followed in the auditorium at Mercy High School where Johanna had been President for 21 years. (She retired last year.) There were four other sisters celebrating so I am not sure how many people were present for the entire event. Lots of friends and families for all of the sisters.

The sad part of the trip was that Johanna was diagnosed with pneumonia the week before. It was really hard for her to work and to do the preparation for the event. We worked at the school a couple of hours on Saturday getting tables, etc. set up and there were a lot of people there to help.  On Tuesday the doctor diagnosed her with severe bronchitis and put her on heavy doses of medication. 

Then on Thursday the 26th, Sister Jeanne's brother-in-law died from a massive heart attack. He lived in Council Bluffs. His wife is in a wheel chair, a polio recipient, and depended on her husband for help.

Sister Jeanne and Sister Johanna share an apartment and are best friends. Jeanne is part of our family and comes to all of our events and Johanna is part of Jeanne's family and goes to all of their events. It was a very sad and tragic loss for both of them.

On Saturday night, before the big event, we had a family picnic at Mercy Acres. We had a wonderful prayer time and lots of memories of childhood flowing. There were only 20 of us there plus Sister Jeanne. One of my highlights was getting to ride on my cousins Harley Tri Bike. I had to borrow shoes and socks and a helmet but at least I was able to ride. I might just make a good biker-chick.

All in all it was one of those very exciting weeks and a very sad week. Like good news, bad news. However, I will be going back to spend Christmas in Omaha. Hopefully there will be no blizzard this time.

Speak of God, for God, with God. ~C. McAuley

Friday the 13th

No I am not superstitious, normally. Several months ago before my surgery I started volunteering at the Front Desk on Friday mornings from 8am to 11am. I took two months off after my surgery and started back on August 6th. This Friday morning, the 13th, I was sitting on the floor playing with Ember and that funny feeling hit me - it was Friday - it was also 9:45. I jumped up, brushed my teeth, put on some clothes and was downstairs by 10. Very embarrassed.

Lynn, the gentleman that is always down there on Friday mornings when I am not there - was not there either but his wife was. She said that she came down at 8:45 and saw that no one was there - it was all dark. Not good! So she took over. She said, "no problem, it happens all the time." I doubt that, but it was nice of her to say so. I assured her that I probably would not forget Friday mornings again, but if I did to please call me. And, I confirmed that I would be there on the 20th but not on the 27th.

On the 21st, I am going to Omaha for a week. We will have a family picnic at Mercy Acres on Saturday night and there is a celebration, on Sunday, the 22nd, starting with Mass and then dinner to follow. This Jubilee is for my aunt and four other nuns. They have been Mercy nuns for 50 years. It should be a wonderful day, lots of families and lots of excitement.

Health-wise I am doing fine. I feel good and have little discomfort from my continual seromas. I have no drains in so the fluid builds up until it needs to be drained. Obviously the last procedures with Interventional Radiology, did not work so I will go about every 10 days to have it drained. I will go again just before I leave for Omaha and then I have an appointment when I get back. No one can answer the question, "Why am I still filling with fluid?" They say that this happens to some people. Okay - I will accept that. (I have researched this on the internet and found it to be true.)

Well there probably won't be another posting until I come back from Omaha, unless something really exciting happens. Not that this posting was exciting - but there will be less and less to write about. At least I am praying for that. We all have our everyday adventures, etc., so I do not want to bore you with my everyday life - like the car. (Three things in three weeks - the car should be good to go.)

I continue to take life one day at a time and take nothing for granted. "And my God will meet all your (my) needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 

"God abounds with generosity and his goodness is poured out to all his children. He has no favorites. And he fills each one according to their need. We are freed from fear and selfishness when we learn to trust God's perfect timing in our lives."

Cars

Just want to change the pace of my writings from cancer to cars. It is good to talk about something else - right? Well, I guess that all depends. I would like to be telling you that I bought a new fancy sports car. That is not the case - not on my budget.

Week before last someone left a note on my window saying I had a very low tire on the back. Not a problem I stopped and put air in the tire and then drove right to Peerless Tires to have it fixed and my tires rotated. I do this every 3,000 miles and it was time. I asked that they please check that back tire because I had just put air in it. They rotated the tires and said that my car was ready. I asked if they had checked that tire and they said that it was okay just low. I am looking kind of puzzled but they know their business, I'm thinking. Two days later I was back. The tire is now on the front and yes there was a nail in it. Grrrrr!

Last week I had the oil changed. Nothing unusual about this, I always have the oil changed at 3,000 miles. When I started to pay the bill, he said you have a couple of small leaks that need to be taken care of right away. What leaks? When he started explaining I told him that had just been done less than a year ago. He looked it up and it was in November. My 2001 Grand Prix has a bad GM motor in it and the gaskets go bad about every four years - lucky me. This is very expensive to have the gaskets replaced. It was still under warranty and they fixed it for no charge.

This week one day when I started the car the battery light was on. I made a call to see how serious this was and my friend, Steve, told me to go to Auto Zone and have the battery tested. He also said that it could be the alternator. They said the battery was bad so I bought a new one, met Steve, and he put it in for me. He returned with me to Auto Zone to make sure the refunds were made because it was a seven year battery replaced in five years. I told them that the battery light was still on. They checked the alternator and it was bad, but not that bad. I had errands to run so it was decided that we would take care of the alternator latter since the new battery would be okay for awhile. Have no idea how much charge was in the battery and I drove way down south to run my errands and on the way back home I new it was going to quit on me. And then a God thing happened. I was at 1st St and the lights went out. Steve lives right off of 1st St. I was hoping I could make it to his house. I didn't! The car stopped at the stop sign and right across the street, two houses up, was Steve's house. I hated to call Steve because he was at the hospital with his dad. I just didn't know what else to do. He said to leave the car sit there and he would take care of it when he got home. I walked down to his house and gave his wife my keys and a credit card and she took me home. I felt so bad leaving all this work for him. He was at the hospital for four hours and then had Life Group that evening and did not even get started on my car until late evening.

How do you say "thank you" to good friends. Only God knows what we need and he puts the right people in place each time. There is one young lady in the church that has helped me out on several occasions and when I tell her that I don't want to impose on her, she will say, "Don't you take my blessing away from me." And then I do understand.

"God has blessed you with his kindness. Why not pass it on? Kindness is always contagious. Start an epidemic where you live. All it takes is one to light the way."

The Story continues...

The bad news - It is now a week later, August 7th, since they said that I no longer needed treatment for the seroma. Wrong again! The seroma is back in full force. I am going to call the surgeons office Monday morning to see if I can get it drained again. I may just have to do this once a week, or so, until it stops. I cannot keep paying the huge co-pays only to have them not do the treatment. And, I do not want that huge drain hanging on me again.

The good news - I did get my bra and a prosthesis on Monday. It looks so normal. That was such an exciting day that I was calling or texting everyone telling them that I felt like a young girl getting her first bra. I cannot begin to tell you how uplifting it is. (No pun intended.)

God has blessed me more than I could have ever imagined.

"Laughter lightens our load, especially during times of trouble. It is a pep rally for heavy hearts."

Continuation of Story Time

It's Friday, July 30th, morning and Rebecca picks me up a 6:30 for my second round of Betadine treatment. The hospital was expecting me and I was taken to a private room and prepared for the treatment. The same nurse blew out another vein trying to start the IV and this was after wrapping my arm in a hot towel. The second nurse took her time and was successful. The antibiotic was started and then I was taken down to Interventional Radiology and given some more stuff so this would be a pain free procedure. Since the cavity was so large last time they were hoping to inject a smaller amount of Betadine this time. The radiologist started the injection and no Betadine would go in. He determined that there was no blockage in the tube and he tried again. He said that it was time to take it out - so he did. They put a compression bandage on me for three days and then everything should be okay.

All of the confusion from last week still remains with me. I was getting so many different stories of how many treatments this would be. Why couldn't someone just say that it would be 1-3 treatments and maybe more. How hard is that. What little drainage is still left should be absorbed by the body.

I guess if we prepare for the worse, then it is a true blessing when it is not as bad as we expected.

"God's ears are open to the desperate in heart. His eyes are aware of their need. Ask him to visit your most hopeless situation. God is always looking for a place to put a miracle."