JOB - To have or not to have

I was so anxious to go back to work part-time. I was feeling good and I thought I was ready to take on the world. I went over to the Little Sisters of the Poor, located just a couple of blocks from the apartment. Oh yes, I did get a job. I went through orientation…nine hours and did not get finished so I went back the next day an hour and a half before my shift started, Thursday evening. Turned out to be a kitchen job and not a dining room job…guess it sounds better. I worked the next evening, Friday, and I was dragging when I got home. I was off on Saturday evening but went back in on Sunday evening. I must say that it “kicked my butt” – excuse my language but I don’t know how else to put it. I really, truly thought that my back was doing much better. Guess it is until you are on your feet for 4 hours.

On Monday morning I went over and talked to Human Resources. Therese was very understanding and is most concerned about health first. She had me on a weeks schedule to train on the day shift, which is 2 hours longer. I told her there was no way I could do a longer shift and that I really needed to cut back on hours. I do not want to quit but I cannot work night after night. She has changed my schedule to two nights a week, Wednesday evening and Saturday evening. I will try it to see how it works out.

However, I did go ahead and work Monday evening as scheduled and when I got home I was in so much pain that I could not even lay down on my back. I finally had to take a pain pill…that started me itching…so I took another Atarax. At 1:00 am I was still awake so I took another Ativan. I finally went to sleep and slept until 9 am when Laurie called. Could not even figure out how to answer the phone (new). I fixed myself a cup of coffee and fed Ember then I went back in to the bedroom, well it looked so inviting - down I went – I woke up at 1 pm. I could not believe that I slept that long, but I honestly needed it. Hope I can sleep tonight. My coffee was still sitting there - cold!

I noticed that they had a receptionist in the evenings. I told Therese that if she ever had any openings I would really be interested in that. She said that she would talk to sister. Please pray that I can get that position…I think I could handle it much better.

I must say that I am disappointed in myself and my bubble has been burst. When I looked into the mirror I saw this tiger, or lion, that was ready to defeat the world. Now when I look into the mirror I see this little kitten that still needs a lot of care.

I have heard it said, "I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. What I can do, I ought to do. What I ought to do, by the grace of God, I will do." ~Greg Laurie